That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
