NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
