You're completely useless in the revolution.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
