I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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