I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
