Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
