if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
