I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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