Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize