ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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