My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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