My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
