you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
