Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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