C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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