Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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