Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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