i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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