I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
