Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
