fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
