I love black thongs
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
