My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
