'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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