We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
