I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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