The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
