From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
