He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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