It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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