Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
