He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
