Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
