I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
third nipple confirmed
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize
