my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
