I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
