two words: eviction party
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
