normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
