Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
