As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
