Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
