if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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