If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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