Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
