seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
there is glitter all over my balls
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
