She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
