Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
