think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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