Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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