Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
