you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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