the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
