oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
