Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
