billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize