I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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