I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
