the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
