Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
