It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
