was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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