I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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