my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
