She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he shaved USA in his pubs
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
