dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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