whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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