I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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