Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize