No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
